Yesterday morning, as I was burying Harley, I thought what an appropriate thing this was to do, considering the time of year — burying loved ones that you've killed in the backyard. SPOOOKEEEE! My mind kept reverting to that final scene from CARRIE where Amy Irving is putting flowers on Carrie's grave and (spoiler alert!) a hand juts up from the ground and grasps her.
And so I actually gave a small yelp when almost that exact thing happened yesterday as I was patting down the freshly-laid earth and a cat paw came out of nowhere and batted at me on the wrist.
Then I laughed. Really hard. You wouldn't have known I was laughing if you had heard me; the laugh sobs commingled with the sad sobs and they probably sounded the same.
Stumpy, a neighborhood cat who hangs out around our house, was on the other side of the fence and saw some action going on under the crack of the barge boards. Stumpy likes to play, so he stuck his little paw under the fence and swatted me with it, putting the FUN back in FUNERAL.
Happy Halloween y'all. And thanks for the deluge of LJ comments, emails, Twitters, voicemails and texts I received yesterday from friends and internet stalkers alike, when I was feeling so alone. You all are a very caring bunch, and I'm honored and humbled that you gave a damn about me and Ben and my poor old Harley in our time of woe.
I'm much better today. I've only cried twice, as opposed to the constant stream of snot running down my face yesterday that made me so attractive!
I was going to beg off work last night, thinking I'd be in no condition to smile and flirt and serve cocktails, but one of my regulars texted me suggesting it might be just what I need to distract me. And she was right. It helped a lot talking to people who hadn't just killed their best friends that morning. It reminded me that life does go on, and I really needed that reminder. Plus, I made exactly the amount of money it cost to euthanize Harley, so that was nice.
Really though. Thanks for your support, each and every one of you. It means a lot.