December 28th, 2005

I Will Not Defame New Orleans.

26 Questions

As pilfered from the ever-colorful docbrite.

1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy?
Grapefruit juice. 2 packs of Camel filters. And thank you for using the semicolon correctly.

2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea-dwelling creature, what would you be?
Jimmy Hoffa.

3. Who's your favorite redhead?
gritsnyc, although she's just a Daywalker.

4. What do you order when you're at a pancake house?
Shit, I've been on my Nazi diet so long, I can hardly think of another time. Waffle house. Hash brown. Scattered, smothered, raped and discarded.

5. Do you own any... naughty toys?
I saw a Hand of Adonis at Second Skin which I found pretty amusing. But I don't put things in my butt. So. No.

6. Have you made out with anyone on your friends list?
Made out? I've slept with them all.

7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear:
It gives the illusion of my college-age 29" waist and a 10" package. It is also entirely apocryphal.

8. Describe the last time you were injured:
I flew home from St. Louis yesterday. I was injured by the TSA. I resent mightily being treated like a criminal in my own country simply because I have to fly from time to time.

9. Are there any odd things that make you feel comfortable?
Watching House on Sorority Row takes me to a Special Place. Also, Percoset.

11. Tell me a weird story from your high school years:
Nothing weird happened in high school. I was in California. A very dull, lame place.

12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
A spooky spider.

13. Soda?
Diet Coke, cut with Seltzer because, unlike most Americans, I don't thrive off eight million tons of sugar or sugar substitutes per pint.

14. Flavor of pudding?
How is this interesting? Um, Kozy Shack Rice Pudding, if you must pry!

15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
Black button down with dragon embroidery.

16. Prescription medication?
Rarely do I have a scrip for the medication I most cherish.

17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Tesseract machine.

18. How many people are on your friends list?
I can't be bothered to count.

19. How many people on your list do you know in real life?
Most of them. The rest I want to meet so I have more couches in different cities and countries upon which to crash.

20. What are you listening to right now?
Nathan talking to his girlfriend in the next room.

21. Most recent movie you watched?
Casino.

22. Name 5 things you have with you at all times:
Wallet, keys, undahpahnts, wedding ring, attitude.

23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage?
Receive, duh. Though I strictly believe in reciprocation.

24. Name a teacher you had the hots for:
Mrs. Mathis, 2nd grade. I was almost as smitten with her as I was with Jodie Foster and Lindsay Wagner. I asked Mrs. Mathis to please, please, please consider teaching 3rd grade at the close of the school year.

25. What is a saying that you use a lot?
"This isn't going to work for me." (See TSA rant above.)

26. What's one piece of advice that you think should be passed on to every child?
Quiddit. Stoppit. Quiddit. Quiddit. Stoppit.