August 18th, 2005

I Will Not Defame New Orleans.


That's a word we coined last night whilst Spacey-stalking at the Old Vic Theatre at Waterloo. It was inspired by Pablo's roommate's picture phone. Specifically, he's been taking pictures of famous people he sees walking around London, but takes them with a tiny phone-camera from, like, across the street, resulting in, "See that fuzzy little blur there behind the zebra crossing and that passing taxi? The vaguely-human-shaped thing carrying a bag? That's Michael Gambon!"

I'm seriously considering registering and accepting submissions of cell phone pictures of famous little blurry people caught in their natural habitats. It's like "Us" magazine, but even more lame! (Or better; I really can't tell which.)

Also thinking I should restrict submissions to pictures taken with mobile phones. Digitcal cameras are of too high a quality these days, and I want the results to be sketchy. Like Sasquatch, Nessie, Elvis or Roswell. "See that yellow-suited blur at the smokey bar across the room? That's that British soap star!" (Who, I must report, must certainly have more acting prowess than other endowments, as I couldn't help but notice whilst peeing next to him last night.)

Alas, no Spacey-sightings caught on the phone. Don't know what he was up to, but I think it's terribly rude of him not to show up last night.

I mean, who does he think he is? Steeeeeve Perry or someone?

Right-o. Time to pack my wobbly luggage, Tube to King's Cross, Thameslink and bus to Luton airport, fly to Schiphol, and train to Amsterdam. (I mean really wobbly luggage. This is going to suck.)