May 8th, 2005

I Will Not Defame New Orleans.

Herpelicious!

So sick.

So, so, so, so sick.

I have herpes.

Kiss me, darling.

Why do these things always happen on weekends when one can't make a civilized appointment with a doctor? I was going to go to ER today, then Ben suggested we accost our lovely next-door-doctor for some advice.

"I've never known pain like this," I said, indicating my headache lurking in the front of my head and making my eyes throb like they're going to explode. "I'm high as a kite on Vicodin. I can't feel my body. All I can feel is the pain in my head. Also, the right side of my face is breaking out in vicious, stinging lumps. But only the right side. Exactly in the middle of my forehead, the eruptions stop. On the left I'm lovely."

He made a sensible diagnosis/guesstimate that I was currently undergoing a resurgence of chickenpox asking, "Have you done anything to compromise your immune system?"

"No, nothing I can think of. Well, except maybe staying out till dawn on Lower Decatur on Monday [the trouble started Tuesday], or perhaps losing 15 pounds in four weeks. But other than that…"

Considering how old the symptoms were, he sufficiently scared me into getting dressed for an ordeal at Touro ER. But as I was leaving the house, Ben said, "He's just gonna call in a scrip for you instead."

Tell me I don't have the coolest neighbor in the city.

I went to fill the scrip. Took one pill. Vomited it up five minutes later in the tub so that I might find the remaining pill, wash it off and try again. DAMN those meds are 'spensive! But it gushed down the drain along with a gallon of water I had been drinking all day, none of which, it seems, made it past my stomach.

I can't stand. I can't lie down. I can't sit. I can't sleep. I can't eat. If I didn't have a cool neighbor, a concerned boyfriend and a soothing kitty who seems to understand when she's most required, I would have offed myself by the point.

I feel lonely, like I'm the only person in the world in such a black space.

Also, I look absolutely frightening with the right side of my face puffed and splotchy and bumpy and my right eyeball almost completely red.

This could last a long time, I am informed.

Tomorrow, a doctor's visit.

If tomorrow ever comes.