April 25th, 2005

I Will Not Defame New Orleans.

Where the Sun Don't Shine.

I primed my white, honky body for spring and summer via eleven days in the Caribbean. I believe my arms, legs, back, etc. are now more or less impervious to sunburning.

Which leaves what lays in between.

Yesterday was a glorious New Orleans Sunday. Bright, clear, somewhat cool, somewhat warm. I spent the day at Country Club swimming, reading and napping in the sun.

Result: The area between my hips and thighs are lobster red and stinging. Most inconvenient, I'm sure you'll empathize.

In quite other news, the day after our arrival home from our obnoxiously lovely journey through the Caribbean, Ben and I went on strict and almost criminally boring diets consisting of rabbit food, sawdust and plankton.

I've lost about 10 lbs. so far and my clothes, once well-fitted to he who bought them, but recently of a grumbling, recalcitrant nature, are beginning to fit again. Anyone who has given up all good-tasting food for a worthy cause will comprehend the immense sense of accomplishment one feels at getting back into those pants.

And I'm beginning to get my mancrease back. Soon, I could sell tickets.