I really meant to write something profound and charicteristically cynical from the Left Coast, but I haven't had 20 minutes to myself when a computer has been available.
So here I am, a mere couple of hours afore I squeeze these long legs onto another airplane to go home, finally able to jot some notes about what it's like to have a real
white christmas in the sense that everyone here is white
Slideshow of Southern California:
- All cars are shiney and new. And usually unnecessarily large.
- Women who drive Mercedes convertibles invariably have shellacqued helmet-hair.
- People bitch bitterly when the temperature drops below 60°f.
- If you close your eyes and point blindly in a direction, there is an 82% chance you will end up pointing at a strip mall.
- Fun Fact as told to me by me pater: 1 in 11 people in the U.S. live in So. Cal.
- Fun Fact that I am guessing at, but it's a sound guess: 8 out of 10 of those people are currently in their cars driving somewhere, at any given moment.
- Ceilings are very low. Doorways, too.
- Beige, though not on the color spectrum, is the most prevalent, and one might say ubiquitous, shade.
- I get a weird, dizzying, vertiginous feeling when I stand in a suburban cul-de-sac and look around at all the identical houses, creating patterns and patterns and impossible angles, like a nightmarish Escher drawing.
- Shopping seems to be the thing to do here.
- People in leather jackets and platform shoes (hi, that's me) seem to scare small children.
- I drove to San Diego one evening and at one point, there were 16 lanes on the highway, and there was still brake-hitting traffic.
- Many of the locals seem to have no concept of a world outside So. Cal.
- Everyone just looooves being here. To an annoying degree.
- Television seems very popular. Lots of discussions about recent programs.
- I haven't seen any people who are a)black, b)gay, c)punkrock, d)fat, e)imperfectly coiffed or costumed.
- For the most part, people here aren't very clever.
- If I didn't love my mommy and daddy so much, I would happily never step foot on this coast again.
- Damn my respect for the parents!
Something more coherent once I'm home and breathing properly again. Teeter on the edge of your seats, goslings.