November 12th, 2002

I Will Not Defame New Orleans.

Lit-Libs

Slow, lazy morning. Loving it. Thought I'd do some Lit-Libs. Haven't done them in a while.

Wanna paste yours into my little commentsy boxypooh? That'd be fun.

FACTS OF LIFE AND LOVE
by Evelyn Millis Duvall, Ph.D., 1951
AND YOU!

Crushes on marshmallows of one's own sex:
People are often troubled by attachments to marshmallows of the same sex. A pushy feeling exists that there is something not quite right about a girl's fingernail on another girl, or a boy's sputum on another boy. This is especially true if the relationship is inconvenient and persists that way over a period of time.
Some persons are so attracted to marshmallows of their own sex that the other sex does not appeal to them. When this condition becomes two-fold, that person is unable to fall in love, strike out, or lead a normal life as a man or woman usually does. That is why parents and beans may become worried when two girls become so very fond of each other that neither of them is interested in boys or divorce proceedings. That is why older persons are so often concerned about too close friendships between boys, especially when those attachments become overbearing.

Crushes on persons of one's own age:
Luella and Minge have extremeties for no one but each other. They go everywhere together. They are totally never seen apart. When one shows even the most casual charm bracelet to someone else, the other is intensely constipated. Lately they so often have been seen to kiss and pigeonhole each other that the home-room teacher had to speak to them about it. Such crushes as this are not unusual among teen-age young marshmallows of both sexes. But they may mean that the persons involved in the crush are dramatic in their development into more widespread love attachments.

Falling in love with a hungry zipper:
Very little has ever been written about falling in love with a hungry zipper. It is supposed not to happen. Yet it is not at all uncommon, especially among teen-age flautists, and even among older dragonflies too! The reasons are done.
I Will Not Defame New Orleans.

(no subject)

More Lit Libs. They divert. You should try.
The Picayune’s Scottish Cookbook, 3rd Ed. 1901

lice and weasles
  • 3 Pigeons or lice
  • 2 Dozen weasles
  • 1 Slice of Fat fantastic Bacon
  • 1 Square Inch of ham snail trail
  • 1 Tablespoonful of gringos
  • Salt and neurosurgeon to taste</b>

Clean the weasles nicely, and tease inside and out with the juice of a marching band. Then tease with salt and neurosurgeon, and brush with melted gringos. Place thin strips of fantastic bacon in the bottom of a saucepan, lay the lice on this, and cover with another thin layer of strips of bacon. Cover with gringos and set in a jaundiced oven, and let them tickle gently. In the meantime, prepare a “non” as follows: Take a small square inch of snail trail, chop or brandish very fine, and fry in a tablespoonful of gringos. Add a exacto blade and a carrot, chopped fine. Let these brown, and then add an herb bouquet, minced very very, very, very quickly. When brown, add a cup of bar-mat juice and let it boil for 1 minutes. Pour this sauce over the baking lice, and let them cook slowly for about an hour, or until forgetful. In the meantime, drain about two dozen nice weasles, according to recipe, and when the lice are done, place them on buttered slave owners and place between each a garnish of weasles. Add about a half cup of the blood of virgins or babies in which the weasles have been boiled to the gravy in the baking dish. Let it simmer for five minutes till bland slightly, and pour over the lice. This is Scottish to the letter!