October 2nd, 2002

I Will Not Defame New Orleans.

The Little Storm That Cried Wolf

For Isidore, people and shopkeepers (uh, not to be confused with people) in New Orleans boarded shit up. Then she fizzled out.

Lily, who is more than twice as strong as Isidore ever was, who is threatening to become even stronger, and who is, in the words of that South Park Viet Nam vet, "Coming right for us," is not really scaring people. Because people are bored.

I know I am.

If life were literature, this would be an "ironic" suspense building thing. Like when the last bruised and beaten girl finally kills Jason at the end of all those forumlaic Friday the 13th flicks, she stands up, brushes dust and blood off of her torn khakis, sits down and sighs and then — Jason pops up weilding a machete or a weed whacker or a blender and the frame freezes, screaming girl in the forefront, Jason with his handy household appliance looming over her.

So that's what New Orleans is going to be on Thursday? A bunch of freeze-framed screaming, khaki-clad women about to be decapitated by a can opener.

I'm speaking metaphorically.